going to mets-philies tonight, hopefully i can be as cool as this guy.

Japan doesn’t usually get the respect it deserves as far as being considered the premiere baseball country in the world, this despite the fact that they have won the only two World Baseball Classics, the World Series MVP is from Japan, as is former AL MVP and possibly the best contact hitter in baseball history.  So my next few posts will be strictly about Japanese baseball players, from the best, the worst, to the outlandish.  Let’s start with the outlandish.

Tsuyoshi Shinjo- In Japan Shinjo is an icon, though known more for his dyed hair-sprayed hair, his good looks, and his Ochocinco-esque stunts than his play.  Statistically Shinjo did not have a great career, never hitting more than 30 hrs in any season in Japan and totaling only 20 hrs in 3 years in the MLB. All while only hitting a mere 250 for his career.  Though he did total 9 gold gloves while in Japan and became the first Japanese player to play in a World Series in America, and in finally won a Japan Series when his Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters won in his final season in baseball.

So why is Shinjo, an above average player, so beloved?  The answer is simple, its because he’s so damn entertaining.  This is a man who was lowered from the roof of a stadium onto the field for an All-Star game.  In fact All-Star games seem to be the perfect platform for Shinjo to showcase his mixture of exciting all out play and bizarre sense of humor. In one All-Star game he used a rainbow colored bat and wore an LED belt that said “Nevermind what I do!!!Fan is my treasure!!!” During another All-Star game he used a golden bat, and in another he stole home.
He is also known for his stunts with his uniforms.  He’s once famously reprimanded by the league for wearing his old Tigers jersey while playing for the Fighting Ham, and for wearing a collared shirt under his uni.  And he has on several occasions worn ridiculous masks during warm ups.

Here is Shinjo with a frog hat on.

Here is Shinjo with a mask of a face eating a face, eating a face, eating Shinjo.

I have no words for this picture, just love.

Since retiring Shinjo immediately announced his intentions to pose nude with his wife*.  He also won Japan’s version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” which I’ve never seen but I can say with 90 percent certainty that it somehow involved a very painful obstacle course.  He has also came out of retirement to get the last out of a SoftBank Hawks game as a pitcher.  Anyway here’s the video… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOxP8YQ1NYA

What’s awesome about Shinjo in this video is 1. He’s not a pitcher, 2. Where most people have a number on the back of their jersey he has a picture of his face, and 3. After he gets the batter to ground out, he gets the ball and throws it into the stands, next goes his gold colored glove, then he runs around high fiving everyone, teammates, umpire, and fans, all for getting the last out of a meaningless game.

I will end this section on Shinjo with a conversation he had with his manager Katsuya Nomura.

After asking Shinjo why he didn’t steal more bases given his excellent speed Shinjo replies with ” because I have no interests in it” then added he didn’t want his legs to get bigger because they wouldn’t look as good in his jeans.awesome.

*although a quick google search of “Shinjo nude” yielded page after page of hentai** and sadly no Shinjo

**for those of you who don’t know what hentai is, its basically anime porn that frequently features penetration by a tentacle.  and no that is not a typo.

Its been a hard last four years for mets fan, and really a hard 20+ years, hell its been a hard existence. Sure the mets have two of the most improbable World Series championships in the history of the game, but I was born in 85. Do you know what that means? Thats means Mo Vaughn, Roberto Alomar, Generation K, the Victor Zambrano debacle, the Todd Hundley in left field experiment, which was followed years later by the Mike Piazza at first experiment. It means Bobby Bonilla (twice!), signing the wrong Matsui, Armando Benitez, and worst of all it meant watching effing Braves win 14 straight division, and the yankees win 4 out of 5 World Series*.
For my entire existence the Mets were terrible, even the 2000 team that won the pennant kind of sucked. Mike Bordick, Jay Payton, Todd Zeile, Benny Agbayani, and Derek Bell all started. They had two players named Bobby Jones on their team, and by my count thats two Bobby Joneses too many. But anyway my point is as long as I’ve been able to remember things it was painful being a Mets fan because they always sucked.
Then came the “New Mets”, we tried to buy legitimacy by shoving obscene amounts of money at Pedro, then we finally beat the Yankees at something by outbidding them for Beltran. A new era was ushered in. They said the goal was to play meaningful games in September, which in itself is a pretty pathetic goal, but I say be careful what you wish for. I dont want to get into details because frankly you can write a book about the drama, disappointment and pain, and also because damn, this blog isnt even public yet and I don’t feel like revisiting those dark places in my mind for the sake of the 0 people that read this blog. So yeah ill just summarize, 06 Wainwright/Molina 07-Collapse, 08-Collapse/Phillies win WS. The lesson here is, winning is worse than losing, when your a mets fan. Cuz come autumn whatever streak you got going, whatever goodwill you’ve built up with the baseball gods**, its gonna be blown to shit. I mean 2009 sucked, let me tell you 2009 sucked, but we were mathematically eliminated in like what July? We never had a chance, heartbreak averted.
That brings us to now,we’re fresh off signing Jason Bay and frankly I dont feel the same excitement as I did when I heard we actually convinced Beltran to come to NY, or that somehow we were able to acquire Santana in what must be considered the biggest rip off in New York since the Dutch West India Company successfully convinced the Manhattoes Indians that the 24 dollars worth of beads they were getting was a steal for their home island. I dont even feel as good as I felt when we got Krod, or even Putz. I’m jaded now, perhaps for the better, being hopefully only lead to engaging in arguments like how the 1-2 punch of reyes and matsui will lead to a deep playoff run, or the worst one the ” I really think we can do some damage once Mo gets on track”. And its not like I dont like Bay, its just as of now he’s gonna make us good again, good enough to lose in September, or if we’re lucky lose in October.
Anyway that little rant cost me enough sleep, next post **** will be about what other things I think the Mets should do in the off season to guarantee a third collapse in 4 years.








* It should be noted, though I try not to think about it, ever, that the Yankees beat the Mets in the 2000 WS. That is the first and only time that incident will be mentioned on this blog, from now on in this little corner of the ever expanding universe that is the interweb, that never happened.
**and yes they are real***
*** at least as real as any other gods.
****that is of course assuming that I ever do this again.